These aint no weeping songs. There’ll be no Dido or Sinead O’Connor here. These are songs that make me feel good about flying solo and remind me that even though it’s not ideal, there are SOME good things about being single. If you click here, all the songs will play in a very high-tech funky playlist while you read.
So now, with a little help from some classic Motown soul (and a little 90’s RnB thrown in for good measure), here are six reasons why I’m single:
1. Because Finding A Good Man, Girl, Is Like Finding A Needle In A Haystack. Yeah, I live in a small town statistically skewed towards men who come here to work at the centre of Australia’s Current Mining Boom. But all that means is a Mighty Big Haystack, making the needles even harder to find.
2. Because Your Love Can’t Pay My Bills. Actually, money isn’t really what I want, otherwise I wouldn’t have quit maths in Grade 11 and done a degree with the word ‘Theatre’ in the title. A satisfying, challenging and interesting job that takes me to exciting places which just happen to mostly be small towns without eligible bachelors in them – that’s what I want, but no one sings songs about that. Playlist also includes Destiny’s Child’s classic track ‘Independent Woman Pt. 1,’ because I depend on me.
3. Because I Aint Nobody’s Fool. Sure, it was a while ago that I done left anyone there all by themselves. Sure, it was a long time ago that someone treated me so cruel. But, as my girl Lauryn says, some guys, some guys are only about THAT thing, so I’m just being a lot more picky these days.
4. Because I Don’t Want No Scrubs. As I tell my Grandmother (every time we speak) when she asks me if I’ve found any nice boys yet, no one’s good enough for me. I’m so picky that unless you’re in my age range, you laugh at my jokes, you can spell and you don’t wear hi-vis, then no, I don’t want your number. No, I don’t want none o’your time.
5. Because I Keep On Waiting, Anticipating. Oh Diana! I, too, grow impatient for a love to call my own! I know, I know, You Can’t Hurry Love. You Just Have To Wait. But I’m starting to think that maybe the middle of the desert on the west edge of the country is perhaps the wrong place to wait and that this is perhaps the one (and hopefully only) reason I’m single…
6. Because I’m On The Night Train. I’m going places! Granted, none of those places are listed in this song, but if you’re sick of listening to songs of those in love, or those who are out of*, then this sensational track about my favourite mode of transport is your ultimate boogie tune.
*This is a line from another great song that isn’t about love, Darren Hanlon’s amazing ‘There’s Not Enough Songs About Squash.’ Do yourself a favour, download it here.
PS: I’ll continue to deviate from my normal low-tech hilarious narratives in my next post, where I branch into practical advice and reveal my Perfect Formula For A Fling. I’ll then combine numbered lists with witty stories with My Top 5 Worst Internet Dates Of All Time. Until then, suscribe yourself before you wreck yourself, there should be a lil box up right, or click here to get yourself acquainted with desertdates.