The Story So Far

Dear Readers,

I’ve reckon I’ve cleared all of 2014’s stories out of the closet. Before I start to tell you about Tasmania, where I now live, I’ve selected some of my fave sentences about places I’ve lived since the beginning of this blog and squashed them into one story. Every line is a link to the original posts where the sentence/paragraph appeared, so get clicking!

I’ve been asked a few times for dating advice so that’s what I’m working on next. Please feel so very welcome to send me your love/dating/singledom/small town living queries in the comments or on Facebook! 

Hope you’re all going swimmingly,



Mt Gillen, from ANZAC Hill


In my first year in Alice Springs I’d lie awake at night with wet towels on my head. Whenever I’d feel the slightest hint of a breeze I’d jump up and squash my face up to the fly screen and smile.

I tried to teach myself the harmonica. I lived next to a major intersection, railway and ambulance station. In the summer months a drinking camp would establish itself in the nature strip across the road. Lots of romantic bluesy background noise for my lonely harmonica.

I slowly got used to the smell of my own sweat and the fact that there were no recycling facilities. I discovered the joy of swimming in an outdoor 50m pool with the sunset reflecting in the water.


alice was luxury pools and glass filled dry riverbeds

bylaws and bushlaw, humbug and friendship and centrelink

alice was red dust in freshly washed white sheets


alice springs


I wasted most of my daydreams on unattainable break dancing Maori Mormons- polite, hilarious, could spin on their heads, sing four part harmonies and they were saving themselves for Jesus. Or their wives. Either way, not for me.

The first two messages I received on online dating sites in Alice went like this:

So, wat u do for work, jus art n shit? I work for dept justice yep that means prison warden lol. Prison! What a lolfest! ROFLfest in fact! Spelling aside, where am I supposed to go after my chosen career had been summed up with ‘n shit?’

I drive trucks got my own truck so we cud go 2 ayers rock if u want cud be good way 2 get 2 no each other but sorry it wud hav 2 be 1 way unless u wanna come 2 adelaide A free 6 hour one way trip to Uluru with a complete stranger with no appreciation for punctuation? What a great idea for a first date!

I met a cowboy at a rodeo. We held hands and walked out of the dance hall. There was a fork in the road. 




In the Pilbara I met pissed big burly mining dudes who considered accidental eye contact as an invitation. They ogled in a manner just as irritating as sandflies attacking exposed flesh at Beachville. Unforts these dudes were impervious to Deet.

Off-chops middle aged women said nice things like “Damn girl, you’re a GREAT dancer and your tits look FUCKEN HOT in that dress, sweetheart!”

I discovered mornings.

The world was waking up and it was bigger and more wonderful and closer than I remembered.


I know You Can’t Hurry Love. You Just Have To Wait. But I started to think that maybe the middle of the desert on the wrong coast of the country was perhaps the wrong place to wait.

It’s hard to play the field when you live 7 hours away (by plane) from said field.

I wanted someone to meet me backstage after my show with a bunch of corny flowers they picked out of a nearby garden on the way to the show. Someone to make playlists for and to miss when I’m away.

‘Oh, but it’ll happen when you least expect it!’ say my happy-in-love friends. Git fwarked.


melbourne city at night

Melbourne was this overwhelming metropolis with excessive buildings that stretched upwards and squashed sideways and hid the skyline. I’d been transported to some other world. From my world where there was no postal service, no Triple J reception, no tofu in the supermarket, no traffic, no good reason for anyone to wear anything other than thongs, shorts and a T Shirt and no good reason for there to be any more than 5 people in a room at a time.

I loved crossing the road at Flinders Street Station. All those people, all in one place, all going somewhere. I felt part of the human race.

I watched the dressed up and the drunks strut and stumble along Swanston Street. Was everyone playing this game except me?

I’m gunna Get Back On The Horse. There Are Plenty More Fish In The Sea. I’m going to canter along on that damned horse whilst casting my fishing rod out into a nearby river. Or I sit on a horse on a fucken fishing trawler. I’m a horseriding fisherwoman.


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