Two months ago I stood on the edge of this airport hotel pool in Darwin at night. It was muggy and warm and the cousins I’d been texting in Sydney had all gone to sleep. I’d see them in the morning at the hospital.
I stood at the edge of the pool in my bike shorts and a singlet while Coldplay crooned softly out of the tinny hotel speakers and two older women in draped towels smoked nearby.
I stood there for ages, trying to think of some kind of metaphor for the pool that would give me the courage to dive in.
Maybe the pool was the universe? Life?
I thought about all the kind thoughts and wishes everyone would be sending me if they knew why I was there. Then I thought about all the wishes everyone would be sending my family.
I put all those nice thoughts in the pool and dived through them all.
They lifted me up and I floated on top of them.
I stayed there for ages floating on my back, watching the stars.