Tomorrow night I go on a seventh date with a total babe.
It will be the most dates I have been on with the same man for quite a long time.
I have a lot of feelings that are hard to describe. Maybe because I’ve had a cup of camomile tea and am listening to classical music by candlelight in an effort to calm my farm. Some potentially adequate words are: bliss, intrigue, joy, untetheredness? I feel wanted and desired and respected and excited and curious and something akin to nervous. Maybe it’s hard to describe because some of these feelings are unfamiliar. Or maybe the feelings change frequently because it’s all so new. Or maybe it’s just hard to concentrate on anything else at the moment.
I’m venturing into potentially unchartered territory here.
Whatever it is that I’m falling into, it feels precious in its infancy.
Wherever it is that I float to in this bubble of daydreams, it feels almost impossible to tie down and simplify with words.
However it is that this thing grows, the exploration feels increasingly too intimate to share wholeheartedly and respectfully and honestly.
Perhaps the time for trying to understand and describe this thing has not yet come.
Perhaps now is the time for just falling and floating and feeling the feelings.
I think I might pause a little while in writing this particular story, because I don’t yet know how to tell it and because it just doesn’t feel right to keep telling it. It’s still a draft, a work in progress, and I’m not the only one writing it now.
I hope y’all understand. You’ve been so supportive and so patient, reading through so many terrible dates and now they’re finally good ones and I am being all vague and not divulging the delicious details! Please know that I bloody love this little community and am constantly grateful that I get to share shit with you guys and you say nice things. Please know that I’ll continue to share other stories, re-working old stories for storytelling nights and others I haven’t yet written about and trust me I am writing this story down too and will one day share.
Please also know that I am very happy.
With the very kindest of all the regards,